Are ADHD and cheating related? What about weaponized incompetence and ADHD? These are a few questions that surround the ADHD community. Producer Margie visits the podcast for another round of ‘Reddit reactions’ with more posts from the ADHD women subreddit. Listen for host Cate Osborn’s reactions on a few different scenarios related to cheating and weaponized incompetence.
Join health and science journalist Danielle Elliot as she investigates the rise of women recently diagnosed with ADHD. Listen to Climbing the Walls now.
We’re running a survey to see how podcasts help women with ADHD learn about mental health and health-related topics. Make your voice heard today.
Are ADHD and cheating related? What about weaponized incompetence and ADHD? These are a few questions that surround the ADHD community.
Producer Margie visits the podcast for another round of ‘Reddit reactions’ with more posts from the ADHD women subreddit. Listen for host Cate Osborn’s reactions on a few different scenarios related to cheating and weaponized incompetence.
Related resources
Timestamps
(02:00) Post #1 “ADHD and cheating/Adrenaline and dopamine”
(09:24) Post #2 “Narcissist cheater and ADHD”
(15:30) Post #3 “Does anyone else sometimes identify with those ‘weaponized incompetence’ guys you hear about?”
(21:22) Post #4 “I’m so tired of trying to compensate for myself AND my partner”
(27:51) ADHD can be challenging, and you’re not alone
For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This page on Understood.
We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.
Cate: Hey everyone, it's Cate. Before you begin the episode, I wanted to let you know that my producer Margie and I do talk about domestic violence during this episode. If you or someone you know needs help, please visit the National Domestic Violence Hotline at thehotline.org or call 1-800-799-7233.
Hi, everybody, and welcome back to "Sorry, I Missed This." It's me, your host, Cate. And today I have brought back a very special and very important guest, it's my producer Margie. We're doing another Reddit episode, hooray!
Margie: I'm back!
Cate: Margie and I had such a great time doing the Reddit reactions last time that we've maybe decided to turn it into a little bit of a thing that's gonna happen every once in a while. And so, Margie, in secret, has prepared a number of questions from Reddit and I am going to react to them authentically, in the moment, and try not to swear too much. Does Reddit make you swear as much as it makes me swear, Margie?
Margie: Yeah, and there's also plenty of swearing in the posts, usually, so.
Cate: Good. OK. I feel like now it's like a content warning. It was like, I was kidding, but I was like alright, that's fine.
Margie: Explicit.
Cate: I know that last time there was kind of like a theme to the questions that you pulled. Do we have a theme this time?
Margie: Well, last time I think that I was just kind of getting a range of topics about romantic relationships. And this time I was looking for some more specific topics. So, I kind of have found four posts that are almost like two sides of the coin of cheating and weaponized incompetence. It's just kind of relating to those topics.
Cate: I like it.
Margie: Yeah, people tend to ask us about those things a lot.
Cate: OK. Cool, so we've got Reddit reactions, installment 2, cheating, and weaponized incompetence.
Margie: Let's jump in.
Cate: All right, let's do it.
Margie: This one is called "ADHD and Cheating slash Adrenaline and Dopamine." I'm not trying to excuse anyone's cheating or dishonesty or invalidate anyone who has been cheated on. I'm wanting to probe how much of these patterns I noticed in my relationships have to do with ADHD or am I just a selfish, egocentric, attention-loving whore, LOL.
I've never cheated on anyone. That is, I've ever had a physical relationship with anyone else while I was still in a relationship. I probably am guilty of a little emotional cheating in a few relationships, and I feel pretty confident about my abilities to control myself as a person, but beyond that I've always done a good job of keeping myself out of situations, because I do know that I might struggle a little with self-control when it comes to being aroused.
That being said, I have noticed that when I see the end of a relationship on the horizon, it's almost as if I line up my options. I get them all lined up in a row. While they're lining up, it's nothing romantic, maybe a little flirting, by explore and line up options. And I generally transition from relationship to relationship without much mourning after a breakup. Most mourning is done before the breakup, as I anticipate it.
Honestly, this little subconscious strategy has worked for me and I can't say it's unhealthy. In my current relationship, I'm learning to more deeply examine this behavior through the lens of having ADHD. I realized a couple of things. I like newness. There's an excitement that comes from someone new. Getting to know them, them getting to know me, there's a level of satisfaction to that. Feeding curiosity, figuring things out, learning. I love those processes.
I thought dopamine was a part of things as well, but I'm starting to realize adrenaline also very much is the thing. It's the rush of giddiness when you get a message, see the phone ring, et cetera. So for me, it's not about cheating or even getting involved physically, It's about the rush of these feelings. So, I do start to think this shit is more lined up with my ADHD than I think. I know impulsive behavior is something we all struggle with, but it's not exactly what I'm talking about here.
And again, I'm not wanting to excuse my behavior, like, "Oh, I have ADHD, that's why I'm texting some dude I know wants me." But more likely trying to figure out when I'm hurt by my partner, when I've feeling unloved or understimulated, how do I keep myself from seeking outside stimulation and attention? Because I have to come to terms with "Yes, you are doing this in direct response to painful feelings of rejection. There's an immediate urge to get someone to push that dopamine or adrenaline button because all the other pain will subside immediately.
But I have to have better strategies and better coping. I'm all over the place, but I've been trying to process these feelings in my own mind, and I don't know if I'm making excuses for my own bad behavior or just trying to raise my awareness.
Cate: That's fascinating.
Margie: Yeah.
Cate: I mean, there's a lot there. The first thing, and this is the part where like sex educator Cate is really gonna come out, I think. But cheating is defined by the people in the relationship and no one else. And so, I think first off, what I'm seeing is a person who maybe hasn't had those conversations with partners, but polyamorous relationships are a thing that exist in the world.
And so, for some people, like that is their system. That is how they navigate through that is, I like having that new relationship energy. I like being able to meet new people and have those exciting dopamine things. But I also like having the partner that I come home to and have this like stable life together. And that's a totally valid option for some people, you know what I mean?
The other thing that I hear in that is this very real sense of self-protection and a very real sense of navigating through big feelings and emotional dysregulation. And so, I don't know, is it manipulative? Is it crappy? Like there's part of me that goes, "Yeah, if you are actively, you know, emotionally or physically cheating with somebody, that is not ethical and that's not all right, obviously." But there's also a part of that wants to spend more time talking to this person and say, "Why? Why are we moving from relationship to relationship? What are we not getting? What are we not feeling?"
Because is cheating an ADHD thing? No, it's not. It's just quantifiably across the board? No, it is not. But I think that this Redditor is really acutely aware of some of the facets of ADHD that can lead to cheating, that seeking of dopamine, that's seeking of new and interesting feelings. And especially in a relationship that has gone on longer, in a relationships that is very stable, very healthy, those feelings of newness can stagnate.
And now there's different ways around that. There's different things you can do. You can take a class together. You can do a pottery class. You can dig an art class, go to a cooking class, or your know, explore newness together. There is also the very real and I think very practical option of opening up the relationship if that's something that both parties are mutually interested in and can navigate that ethically and safely.
But the third thing also that I think is like the thing that really sticks in my brain is just that idea of lining folks up. So, when one relationship ends, you can just jump into the next one. And I recognize a lot of myself in that, like early 20s, Catie, who really didn't understand herself, who really didn't understand the time that it took me personally to process through things, to feel things, to, I don't know, navigate through difficult situations.
And it's a lot easier, I think, and a lot less painful, and a a lot less scary to be like, "Oh, I'm going to jump into this new relationship, even if it's not maybe all the way right, even if not all the fulfilling, rather than have to sit with myself and interrogate myself." And now I'm wise and in my mid-thirties. And it's like, I like myself, you know? I like who I am. I can be by myself and not be miserable. But that took a really long time.
And I think, especially for women with ADHD, like there's so much other stuff that we're dealing with all the time, that feeling of "I have to be in a relationship, I have to have this support, I have to have somebody with me" can be really easy to fall into, but it's not necessarily true. And so, I think I would encourage this person to really look and say, "Do you really want to be in a relationship, or are you just feeling like you need to have those like dopamine hits?"
So, I mean in the non-monogamous community, there is a thing called NRE, which stands for new relationship energy. And it is precisely that. There are folks who chase that and it's not even necessarily about the relationship. It's just wanting that feeling of newness that like, "Uh, you texted me," and like, you know, that info dumping about your life that you do at the like beginning of a new, fresh relationship. For some folks like that's just the practical solution, is I'm going to go out, I'm going to meet a lot of people, I am going to fulfill that need in my life.
For other people, it's finding how to meet that need in a relationship that has already been established. But yeah, chasing that new relationship energy is very, very common.
Margie: OK, this one is called "Narcissist Cheater and ADHD."
Cate: All right, let's go.
Margie: Buckle in.
Cate: OK.
Margie: I am fully hyperfixated on my boyfriend slash ex.
Cate: OK.
Margie: Parenthesis, don't know what's going on right now.
Cate: OK.
Margie: That I've been with for six and a half years. I'm pretty sure he's a narcissist. He really does fit all the boxes, has a problem lying and manipulating. He won't get help or therapy in the slightest. He cheats a lot. If I was to detail the things he put me through here, I'd be here all year. Because I'm so hyperfixated on him, we keep going round in a toxic cycle. Small argument, he cheats, I catch him, he runs away, and ignores. I eventually give up reaching out and giving him attention. He love bombs his way back into my life.
I've looked up so much to do with ADHD and narcissists and relationships, but this cycle still continues, and I can't seem to break this cycle. Trust me, my brain screams at me to not let him back in, and I still do. Right now, I'm in a I've caught him so he ran away phase, and I know that I should leave, but the emotional dysregulation and rejection sensitivity makes it feel like doing that is like ripping my own skin off. I know things won't change, so what tips do you have for finally breaking that trauma bond, not allowing them back into your life?
I genuinely can't keep going through this pain every couple of months. It's driving me insane, and it's getting worse every time. I'm in bed in paralysis until he contacts me, barely sleeping or eating. The heavier one, yeah.
Cate: Sometimes I see Reddit posts like that and I just want to be like "I'm begging you, please, get a qualified therapist." Like that's my immediate answer...
Margie: Yeah.
Cate: This is above my podcast or pay grade.
Margie: Yeah.
Cate: But I also know that it's a situation that a lot of people find themselves in, right? Like in those unhealthy, in those toxic relationships, and how do you break out of them when you are dealing with like RSD or these like really toxic cycles. I mean, I'm I'm personally proud of the poster for recognizing, at least, that they are in this cycle, which is good, because if you know that you're in a cycle, then you know there is a way to step out of that, but it can be really hard.
One of the other things, though, too, is there's, especially with the rise of social media and all of that stuff, a lot of discussions around narcissists and narcissism, like what is it and what is not and what does it look like. A lot of those conversations, I think, have become less than useful because you can be a narcissist working to be a good person. You can be a narcissist who is in therapy. You can also be a narcissist who does not want to go to therapy and is a terrible person. You can just be a person with narcissistic traits and not necessarily be like a diagnosable narcissist.
And so, I think whether or not the partner is actually a narcissist is completely outside the conversation, because what I'm hearing is a pattern of repeated unacceptable behavior that is causing direct harm to this person. And what I am hearing in this post is a compassionate person. I'm a hearing a person who is kind and thoughtful and is like wanting to do the right thing by their partner and by themselves. And it's like, sometimes, I don't know, like. I feel like the end of the sentence is like, sometimes you just got to leave him, bro, but like, leave him bro.
Margie: Time to rip the band-aid.
Cate: Yeah, rip the Band-Aid off. Even the language that they used about like, "Oh, it makes me want to rip my skin off." It's like, yes, rejection sensitivity. Those big moments of emotional dysregulation can be so terrifying and so uncomfortable and so overwhelming in the moment. And you sit there and you feel like this is it. This is my life. Now this is how I'm going to feel.
And so, if I was in a room with this poster, I think I would really encourage them like, if it is that bad, which I'm not trying to invalidate their response, but like, if it is in fact that bad. If you are laying in bed waiting for him to call, feeling like your skin is being ripped off, like this is a situation where I think talking with someone who can provide adequate support in those moments is gonna be really powerful.
And I would love it to be a therapist, but it can also be a friend. It can also beat just like someone who knows you to just remind you that there is in fact light on the, you know, outside. I don't know Margie, one of the things that I literally lay awake at night and think about is that I get emails — I don' talk about this a lot because it upsets me — but I get e-mails all the time from women who are being mistreated and cheated on and they struggle with leaving and that struggle to step out of that, call it what it is, the abuse, to step away into something healthier. I mean, there's so many reasons why a person can't or won't or is unable to.
And so, I think something that's really important to me is to use my platform to tell that person who might be listening, there is help available. We will even put them in the show notes this time around. There is hope. But so many women with ADHD are in toxic and unhealthy relationships because of that rejection sensitivity component, because of the difficulty of how quickly our lives can get entwined with somebody who is unhealthy or manipulative.
And you're just not alone. Like you are not alone, I have been there myself, you know? And so, I don't know, I just I lay awake and I worry about those women because it's like, I can stay here all day and be like, "Leave him, girl." But like, it's so much harder than that. It's so more difficult than that.
Margie: Yeah. It's a cycle that many neurodivergent people could fall into, too.
Cate: Yeah, I mean, we see that a lot, like, it sucks. I mean I know that's like so trite to say, but it's just, I hope those women know that there is help available.
Margie: Alright, this one's called "Does anyone else sometimes identify with those weaponized incompetence guys you hear about? This is not to say it's not absolutely a real, manipulative, and shitty thing that some people do, but I find household chores hard. Harder than hard. Some days impossible. When I do them, I take shortcuts. If I don't, my brain fights me harder, and I'm less likely to do it at all. I also just don't see the mess in the same way as others. People will say something is an absolute state and I'm just like "Looks normal to me."
My boyfriend got mad at me again today about not doing chores to a high enough standard. I try, I do, but I genuinely don't notice whatever stains I've missed on the dishes, even when I make sure to check thoroughly. Then the RSD kicks in. "Well, if I can't do it properly, why the hell am I bothering? This means I suck at everything and he obviously hates me." Every time I try harder with this stuff, I'm told it's still not enough.
And of course, my reaction just makes it worse, because now he feels like he can't air his grievances. And he absolutely has a point. He's right to be annoyed at me and at my seemingly crocodile tears. So, I apologize and promise him and myself that once again, I'll try harder. But next time I go to wash the dishes, it'll just be a little more difficult for me. The voice in my head that always tells me I suck will make the sensory ick worse. I'll hate myself a little bit more. I wonder how many people are accused of weaponized incompetence feel the same.
Cate: That's a good one.
Margie: It's interesting, right?
Cate: I mean, the first thing that strikes me, and this is something that I really like delving into when I do work with couples or when I'm speaking, is what does clean mean? Does it mean that the countertops are spotless and that there's nothing on it? Does it means that generally the kitchen isn't full of mold and rotting food? There are standards of cleanliness. So, the first thing that I hear is that these are two people who are trying, it seems like, to co-exist, to share the load, but they have very different opinions about what that means.
And then through that sort of communication or lack thereof, there is the second part of, "And I suck at everything, and I'm bad at everything and I can't possibly change," has sort of taken root, and then that rejection sensitivity cycle and spiral of, "And I'm terrible, and I just shouldn't do it, and now I'm just going to mess it up again," has now created this sense of anxiety and worry around chores.
And so, when I hear a situation like this, my head immediately goes to a couple of things. One, you can. You can. You can! It's hard, but you can! But figuring out the ways that you can and where you might need support is a great way of not only distancing yourself from that weaponized incompetence component, but also assuaging the rejection sensitivity component.
So, for example, this person talks about the dishes, right? Like I do the dishes but there's always a spot on the dishes. OK. Well, if your partner isn't super excited about how you're doing the dishes, that's conversation number one, right? Like, how are we doing the dish? When are we the dishes? Like, what is our standard of cleanliness that we are going to adhere to when we're doing dishes?
But then, secondly, do you have to do the dishes if you're really bad at it? Can you unload the dishwasher? Can you be responsible for putting the dishes away? If your partner has a higher standard of cleanedliness than you do, there's compromise and there's movability, you know, it's like, "Hey, for every time you do the dishes, I'll take the garbage out and unload the dishwasher," or "Hey, every time you do, the dishes I'll make sure I vacuum the living room or something like that."
So, finding the places where you can, I think is really important because the idea behind weaponized incompetence is that you're doing it on purpose. You are purposely and specifically manipulating the situation to avoid having to do the task again. And that's not what I'm hearing. What I'm hearing is a person who really wants to participate in their household and a person that really cares about their partner and wants to do a good job.
But now there's all of this anxiety and there's this judgment and there is all of these feeling of, "Oh my gosh, I'm such a fuck up," that is coming out of these, frankly, maybe a little bit unhealthy conversations. that are being had around it.
So, my advice would be like, step one, you gotta sit down, you gotta talk about every single task in a way that you've maybe never talked about it before. Like, how do we vacuum? Is the rug completely clear of everything? Are we going around the table? Are we putting the chairs on the, you know, and really sitting down and figuring that out?
But we don't have conversations like that a lot, like in our culture, just surrounding cleaning. There's sort of this just like general sense of like, "Of course you're born knowing how to do the dishes. Of course, you're boring knowing how to keep your apartment clean." And it's like, no, those are legitimate skills. And so, building those skills together with your partner, if that's really something that is making the relationship less strong, I think that's a really good place to start. Yeah.
Margie: Reactions.
Cate: I feel like I want to be like jazz hands at the end of every one.
Margie: Yeah, yeah. No, I agree with you a lot. And also I think that if this was true weaponized incompetence, she wouldn't feel as shitty as she's feeling, right? Like she's trying so hard. I think the difference with weaponized incompetence whether it's consciously done or not, is that you are happy with the result that someone else takes the responsibility.
Cate: Yeah, exactly.
Margie: All right, let's go on to the next music break.
Margie: OK, our last one here. This one's called "I'm so tired of trying to compensate for myself and my partner."
Cate: Uff. OK, let's hear it.
Margie: I just feel like as women or female presenting people, growing up, any of our ADHD tendencies were considered such massive failures that we learned to hide them so much more than if raised male. I don't know, maybe it's just me, but damn, does it feel that way. So many things that can be identified as symptoms of ADHD were written off as boys will be boys, whether it came from having a messy bedroom or not sitting still in class, or being loud and speaking out of turn. But if you were a girl, the shame you would endure for those same exact attributes were unbearable, especially if you weren't sporty.
And to me, it still carries on. It's in small ways, but today, the weight of it just broke me. My fiance and I will read together on Christmas Eve, just as quiet bonding time. Come 1 a.m., I finished my tear-jerker of a finale and headed to bed. Turns out he didn't go to bed until after 6.30 a.m., which meant that we missed Christmas morning and having the breakfast we had planned because he couldn't get out of bed until afternoon.
And that was only after I started cracking because I was so looking forward to spending the day together and yelled at him to get out a bed so we could have a few minutes before we got his mom ready to drop her off at his sister's. Except even though that he knew having coffee on an empty stomach made him sick, he still did it, so I was the one helping his mom get dressed because he couldn't move quickly because he wasn't feeling good. So, we were an hour late getting out of the house.
We get home, and now there's another problem he didn't fess up to. He both didn't start the chicken marinade last night nor woke up early enough to do it this morning. So, there goes our holiday meal out the window.
Cate: Oh shit. That's awful.
Margie: And I'm just so tired because I was yelled at so much for lack of planning as a kid that I do it obsessively now. But I can't just plan for me, I have to plan for him. And I have plan for his plans failing in addition to if mine fail. And I had to plan his mom. And I feel like an idiot trying to learn how to juggle, where the other people just give up and tell me to jiggle their balls too, because they all have to stay in the air, and it's my fault if they don't.
Cate: Holy shit.
Margie: I'm not sure if this is exactly weaponized confidence, but I think that it isn't a similar lane here.
Cate: I feel like I could have written that in parts and portions of my life, like that is so relatable in so many different ways. But I mean, first off, yes, yes. The way that mask and femme presenting people are socialized differently, it is a huge reason as to why so many women with ADHD wind up not diagnosed or, you know, like falling through the cracks or being in this exact situation like this person is talking about because I am one of them. I am of those obsessive planners. I'm one of those people who is planning for every contingency while also trying to, you know, navigate that situation.
Margie: Same. I relate.
Cate: I feel silly, I feel embarrassed, I feel lazy question mark that it's like communication, you know? But it's like that's, I guess, at the core of what this podcast is about. It's about relationships and communication. But I see so many ADHD factors going into this situation. Managing your ADHD, taking responsibility for your ADHD, making sure that you are ethically and equitably navigating a life with a partner means taking responsibility. And so, it's like if you know that you have a hard time falling asleep, I'm not trying to be like, you should do this or you should this other thing, because I know that's like judgy, but I hear that and I go, "Get in bed."
Like that's devastating, that is devastating to lose Christmas morning with your partner because they are so irresponsible of time. And I think a lot of people listening to the podcast go, "Well, there's ADHD, we struggle with time, we can't help it." But sometimes, with some people, and I don't want to make it like a gendered thing, but there is this learned helplessness, and it is outside of weaponized incompetence, but it is this learned helplessness of, "Of course someone else will deal with this. Of course, someone is going to remember."
And we see it a lot in men. I'm sorry. We just do. We do. We just do. We just do. I am sorry. But that idea of, "Of course my partner is going to be there to pick up the slack. Of course, somebody is going to cover for me. Of course, Mom is going to bring my assignment to school. Of course, Dad will run my lunch if I forget it." Like all of those things, like those are taught to us and ingrained in us. And when you don't have those support structures early in life, and you're just being told "You're bad, you're a screw up, you are doing everything wrong and bad," you start becoming your own support.
And then it's really easy for that to bleed into the folks around you and the life that you're living, and you become the support system for your entire life, but that's not sustainable. And so, I look at that situation and I say, that's a really hard, really tough conversation to have with that partner, but that is unacceptable. It is unacceptable behavior. And it's like, yes, stuff gets forgotten, right? Like I have also forgotten to take dinner out of the freezer or put the marinade in, and that kind of stuff, but that's, you know what you do then? You're problem-solving.
If I'm not gonna have dinner ready, I'm gonna go order something. I'm going to take the agency to say, "Hey, partner, I'm so sorry that this happened. I forgot to do this. Here's how I'm going to make it right." But there's no making right that I'm hearing. There's no acknowledgement of the hurt and the, I don't wanna say like loss dramatically, but like that's a loss of a Christmas morning. Like that's, you know, and like, speaking very personally, like I've had that happen to me on like my birthday. Like my partner just kind of forgot it was my birthday and I was like, "Oh, hurts."
Yeah. And it hurts and it's, you know, you can have the hard conversation afterwards of like, "Hey, that sucks. You know, let's let's try again, you know, next year, I guess." But especially when it's special stuff like that. I just feel like agency and unlearning the helplessness is key. I don't, that was like a really messy rant, but I was, that just got me right in my feels.
Margie: Yeah, that one was a tough one and you can like hear how sad the writer is.
Cate: Writer, if you're listening, I see you and you're valid.
Margie: Yeah. Well, that's all I prepared for today.
Cate: Those were really good, Margie.
Margie: They were intense ones, yeah.
Cate: I both love and hate Reddit, but one of the things that I think I really appreciate is that even in the moments where I have felt the most alone, the most scared, the most like, what am I doing? You know, if you search it and then like plus Reddit, there's always at least like one other person who has been there.
Margie: Yeah.
Cate: Like it makes me feel less alone. And I also think it just reminds me that, like, so much of the lived experience of women with ADHD is not uncommon. You're not weird, you're not strange, you are not broken, there's nothing inherently wrong with you. It's that our brains are built differently and we have so many both internal and external factors that we have to navigate through to just exist in this world. Of course it's hard. Of course it is harder. Of course, it is more difficult and you are not bad or wrong or strange for feeling that way.
And I think every time we do one of these episodes, that's really just what kind of like gets reinforced in my head is just the need for community, the need for having these discussions. So, thanks for having one with me, Margie.
Margie: Thanks for having me.
Cate: And hey, dear listeners, if you are on the old, I was going to say riggedy Reddit, and I was like, no one has ever said that in the entire world, but that was what my brain told me to say, so if you're on just the regular old Reddit, and you see a question that you would like us to cover, send it to us. Margie, how can they do that?
Margie: Yeah, send it to us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org. I have an email account?
Margie: Heck yeah, you do.
Cate: I'm kidding, I know.
Thank you for listening. Anything mentioned in the episode will be linked in the show notes with more resources. Have a question, comment, burning story you'd like to share? Email us at sorryimissthis@understood.org.
This show is brought to you by Understood.org. Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at Understood.org/give.
"Sorry, I Missed This" is produced and edited by Jessamine Molli and Margie DeSantis. Video is produced by Calvin Knie. Our theme music was written by Justin D. Wright, who also mixes the show. Samiah Adams is our supervising producer. Briana Berry is our production director. Neil Drumming is our editorial director. For Understood.org, our executive directors are Laura Key, Scott Cocchiere, and Seth Melmick. And I'm your host, Cate Osborne. I'll see you next time.
Cate: Wait, do we have a theme song? Sorry, I missed it.
Margie: What is this theme?
Cate: Oops, I forgot to respond.
Margie: Left on read!
Cate: I've been left on read for six months.